I once had to Google “what does SEO mean” while halfway through an article about SEO. If you’ve ever paused a tutorial to Google something, only to land in a forum thread that made it worse — this glossary’s for you. No expert jargon here, just the version that doesn’t make your head hurt.
404 Error – What happens when a page doesn't exist anymore (or never did). Frustrating for users, bad for SEO, and officially classified as a digital facepalm.
Algorithm – The mysterious set of rules Google uses to decide which pages appear in search results and in what order. Basically a black box powered by maths, logic, and mild chaos. The part of SEO that makes smart people say 'hmm' and everyone else cry.
Alt Tag – The bit of code that holds the alt text. Technically different, but most people use it interchangeably. Adds a smidge of SEO and accessibility brownie points.
Alt Text – A written description of an image. Helps with accessibility and SEO. Also makes you look like you know what you’re doing.
Anchor Text – The clickable words in a hyperlink. Ideally tells you (and Google) what you’re linking to. 'Click here' is not helpful. Tote bag size guide is. Writing ‘click here’ is like labelling every cupboard in your house as ‘cupboard.’
Backlinks – Links to your site from other websites. Google sees them as votes of confidence. You need them, but asking for them feels a bit like saying ‘please clap.’
Blog Cluster – A group of related blog posts that link to one another and to a central post. Great for building topical authority. The theory is tidy. The execution? Less so.
Bounce Rate – The percentage of visitors who land on your site and immediately leave. Basically, the online equivalent of someone walking into your shop, sneezing, and leaving.
Canonical URL – A behind-the-scenes tag that tells Google which version of a page is the “real” one when you have similar content. Stops you accidentally competing with yourself.
CBA – Can’t Be Arsed. Not strictly jargon but Googled in a moment of procrastination.
Content Marketing – Creating useful, engaging content to attract an audience. Sounds simple. It isn't.
Conversion Rate – The percentage of people who did what you wanted (like buy a bag or sign up to your newsletter). The number you check obsessively, interpret wildly, and then pretend not to care about when it's low.
CPC – Cost Per Click. Usually used in advertising. Doesn’t apply to me because I can't afford ads.
CTA – Call to Action. Tells your reader what you want them to do next. Basically, the polite version of shouting ‘Oi! You there!’ at your reader.
CTR – Click Through Rate. The percentage of people who saw your link and actually clicked it. Low CTR = Google shrugging at you.
DNS – Domain Name System. The complicated behind-the-scenes magic that makes your website show up when someone types in your domain. If it goes down, your site takes the day off — without telling anyone.
External Link – A hyperlink that points to another website entirely. When your website says, “I’ve done all I can. Best of luck"
FML – A handy abbreviation for when everything breaks at once. (Google it. I did.)
GA – Google Analytics. Proof that someone, somewhere, clicked something. Possibly by mistake. If you want to go deeper, here’s Google’s official Analytics guide — though it’s less funny and much longer.
Hyperlink – A clickable link that takes you from one page to another. Can point to a page on your own site or someone else's. The ADHD of web elements. Can't sit still, constantly dragging you somewhere else — sometimes helpfully.
Impressions – The number of times your post appears in search results. Doesn’t mean anyone clicked. Just means you showed up, stood awkwardly in the doorway, and left without speaking to anyone.
Indexing – When Google officially recognises your blog post and includes it in search results. Can take minutes, hours, or days, depending on the phase of the moon.
Internal Linking – Linking from one page or blog post on your site to another. Google loves it. It also helps readers stay longer, which is nice.
Keyword Stuffing – The desperate act of repeating the same phrase until Google either notices or rolls its eyes. Usually ends in tears — and zero clicks.
Keywords – The bait in your SEO trap. Must be used naturally, or Google will sniff out the desperation.
Long-Tail Keyword – A longer, more specific search phrase. Like “tote bag with zip for dog walkers who hate mud” instead of just “tote bag.” Weirdly precise, but somehow exactly what someone’s Googling at 2am.
Make.com – A tool for automating tasks. Looks simple until you try to use it. Then it looks like code written by a wizard having a bad day.
Meta Description – A short sentence that summarises your page and helps Google (and humans) decide whether to click. Like a dating profile, but less humiliating.
Organic Traffic – Visitors who found your site through unpaid search results. The gold standard for broke-but-determined business owners. Here’s the notebook collection that’s slowly climbing the ranks.
Pinterest Pin – A pretty picture with keywords that says, “Please visit my site, I’m trying.”
SEO – Search Engine Optimisation. The process of convincing Google your blog is useful, trustworthy, and not just a desperate plea for attention.
SERP – Search Engine Results Page. Where your blog post appears in Google after someone searches for something. Ideally page one. Realistically, somewhere near Narnia.
Shopify – E-commerce software that insists it’s “easy to use” while quietly daring you to prove it.
Slug – The bit at the end of a URL. Should be short, useful, and not look like you sat on your keyboard.
TL;DR – Too Long; Didn’t Read. Occasionally applied to one’s own blog post drafts.
UX (User Experience) – How easy and enjoyable your website is to use. Good UX means visitors don’t shout at their screens or storm off. Aim for “that was smooth,” not “where’s the flipping tote bag?”
WTF is SEO – A genuine search made more than once.
If this glossary didn’t help, don’t worry. It didn’t help me the first three times either.
