Merry Christmas... whatever state you're in
’Twas the night before Christmas, and peace filled the room,
Which usually means
Something’s about to go wrong very soon.
I stood there quite still with that sinking suspicion
That Christmas had entered its final transition.
One pile looked finished, another looked not,
And one made me swear I was losing the plot,
For several fine presents, all ready to go,
Had no “to” and no “from”,
So who could know?
So I made some gift tags, and I printed a few,
Then thought, if I need these, you probably do too.
You can grab them just here, as a small Christmas aid,
They’re free, they’re printable, and already made.
I reached for the tape with a confident air,
Stood on something small that should not have been there.
The carpet betrayed me, the floor took offence,
And physics stepped in
With unpleasant intent.
Then disaster struck swiftly, I tripped and I fell,
Stubbed my toe on the door and it hurt like hell!
I said several rude words and then went numb,
When I found Sue’s present
Crushed under my bum!
That present was ruined. Completely. That’s that.
No tape could undo what my bum had sat flat.
So I did what one does when things clearly fail,
And replaced it for Sue via the WDC Sale.
My nose was all glittered, tape stuck to my hair,
I noticed. I sighed. But I just didn’t care.
The room had that look that suggests, on the whole,
That things have gone past any sense of control.
So I switched off the lights, sore toe, bruised arse,
Concluded that Christmas is mostly a farce.
But it’s done now at least, and that counts as a win,
So Merry Christmas from me... whatever state you’re in.
Wishing you a Christmas that's kind to you.